hocus-Jan99
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The Milwaukee Area T.I. User Group Newsletter
********* January 1999 **********

(bear with us, this is our first attempt)

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Club Officers
------------------
President - Ted Zychowicz - tedzychowicz@juno.com - 414-453-1034
Vice President - Jonathon Johnson - johnsonn@milwaukee.tec.wi.us
Treasurer - Denis Dann - denisd@execpc.com - 414-545-5933
Newsletter - Gene Hitz - genehitz@juno.com - 414-535-0133
Geneve - Tim Tesch - ttesch@execpc.com

MAUG Web page http://members.tripod.com/~genehitz/maug.html

Mailing address - c/o Gene Hitz, 4122 N. Glenway, Wauwatosa, WI 53222-1116

Main MAUG meeting 3rd Saturdays - noon til 4PM
Mayfair Community Room, Mayfair Shopping Center, North Avenue & Hwy 100

PC Hocus meeting (PC SIG) 3rd Thursday - 7PM til 10PM
Franklin State Bank, 7000 South 76st Street

Annual dues now only $5.00

==============================================================

Index:

01) Reading 720K floppies with MSDOS 3.3
02) GPL DEVELOPMENT PACKAGE AVAILABLE
03) IT TAKES ALL KINDS
04) Funny Classified Ads
05) Genuine Excerpts from Letters Sent to Landlords...
06) For all those born before 1945
07) Actual Business Signs
08) Twas the week after Christmas
09) Computer Terms
10) Computer Game Playing
11) BUGGED? You donít know the half of it. (The Y2K problem solved)
12) 1999 JIM PETERSON ACHIEVEMENT AWARD NOMINATIONS

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1) Reading 720K floppies with MSDOS 3.3


Since we're on the subject of PC transfer and the Geneve, How about a
program for the wish-list. Since the Geneve supports 1.44m floppies
with the HFDC,how about a version of PC transfer that runs in mdos and
supports 1.44m PC floppies so we don't have to try to hook up a 360k
floppy to our brand new PC's that probably don't even have a bay for a
5.25" drive.

----

Bruce Harrison has an old PC that can format double density (720k) 3.5
inch disks as 360k. These disks can then be recognized by a double
density floppy drive on a Geneve or 99/4A running a DSDD controller and
PC
Transfer. These same disks can then be written to or read from in any
double
density or high density 3.5 inch drive of any modern PC.
I sent Bruce a bunch of these double density 3.5 inch disks to format
and he will have some available at the Cleveland MUG conference next May.

Charles Good

----

You are right about the old format. When Microsoft added support for
the 1.44 meg disks, they changed the earlier format for 3.5" 720k disks.
The result is that later versions of MSDOS will recognize the old 720k
format, but may not recognize a 360k format on a 720k disk. I
discovered this when my office switched over to P/S2's, and suddenly
the new bios (set for a 3.5" drive) now rejected my oddly formatted 3.5"
disks (formatted to 360k) with a "bad media descriptor" error message.
My solution was to attach an outboard 360k drive.

[Which gives me an idea -- what if you went into the CMOS setup and
temporarily declared the 3.5" drive to be a 360k -- wonder if that would
work? Plug-and-play might kill it so it would have to be in DOS.]

------------

Other commentors --
Each version of PC Transfer takes direct control of the Floppy
controller chip on a TI or the MDOS bios on a Geneve to send low-level
commands directly. The MDOS bios is that for a floppy-only system --
it preceded the special bios required to support the HFDC.

---------------

Actually, in MSDOS 3.3 I used to read 720K floppy disks in a 1.4 meg
drive by adding a line to my config.sys file. According to the MSDOS 6.2
"help" menu, its equivalent is:

device=drivparm.sys /d:nn /c /h:hh /s:ss /t:tt

where
nn = physical drive number (0 for A:, 1 for B:)
hh = number of heads (1 for single-side, 2 for double-side)
ss = number of sectors (9 for 360K or 720K, 15 for 1.2M, 18 for 1.44M)
tt = Number of tracks (40 for 360K, 80 for anything else)

Some examples:
720K disk in a 1.44M drive:
device=drivparm.sys /d:0 /c /h:2 /s:80 /t:9
360K disk in a 1.2M or 1.44M drive:
device=drivparm.sys /d:0 /c /h:2 /s:40 /t:9

This way it would show-up as an extra drive, after all my other hard disk
drives, i.e. "D:". I will repeat the warning someone issued earlier that
the individual tracks in a 1.44M or 1.2M floppy disk drive are narrower
than in a 360K or 720K drive so any formatting should be done with a
bulk-erased disk, or in a lower-density drive if the disk in question is
to be read with a lower-density drive. Too bad the bytes-per-sector
cannot be
changed.

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2) GPL DEVELOPMENT PACKAGE AVAILABLE


Rich Gilbertson, best known as the author of Rich Extended Basic (RXB),
has made available a GPL software development package, complete with
source code to two demonstration GPL programs. This package consists of
three
disks.

The first disk contains the two demo disks in archive format. Disk two
contains the complete assembler with documentation and the first half of
the GPL programmer's guide. Disk three contains the second half of the
GPL programmer's guide.

The handout shows how to compile the demonstration programs and link them
into a stand alone Editor Assembler, Option 5, program image. Yes, no
GRAM needed! The handout also contains other useful information for the
novice GPL programmer.

If you would like a copy, send seven dollars ( shipping to a US address)

to: Dan H. Eicher
(Email: Eicher@delphi.com)
4509 Northeastern Avenue
Indianapolis, IN 46239

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3) IT TAKES ALL KINDS

Copyright 1996, Greg Bulmash, All Rights Reserved

Sometimes, in a strange mood, I'll explore the seamy underbelly of the
web and I'll tell you the thing that has shocked me most. It's not the
racists, or the satanists, or the militant bomb makers. The thing that
has shocked me most is the number of ugly people posting naked pictures
of themselves.

We can cut out all the touchy-feely, new-age, politically-correct,
everyone is beautiful in their own way horse-hockey right now. Ugly
exists. You may not agree with me as to what constitutes ugly, but we
all have an aesthetic opinion. We have all seen someone at one time or
another whose mere physical appearance made us wonder why they were let
out of the basement to consort with decent god-fearing people.

Yet it's not really a surprise that a porn industry has grown up around
ugly people. Ever since that first high school biology class when we
were introduced to the concept of genetics, we realized that ugly people
have sex. If they didn't we would have bred ugly out of the gene pool
by now. Ugly reproduces in every generation, and contrary to what
you've seen on "The X-Files," there's no ugly people pod farm where
they're being grown. The plain and simple fact is that someone is
bedding these ugly people.

Now there has always been that sort of fringe of legitimate porn, the
people who you would never really consider attractive if they were
clothed, but being naked has suddenly made them more interesting. I can
understand this. But the ugly-porn goes beyond that. These are people
who have to give their doctors hazard pay for looking at them naked,
who'd never be in a beer commercial unless they were stunt-doubling for
one of the Bud frogs. Hell, Victoria won't sell them lingerie unless
they agree to keep it a secret... and they have fan clubs.

Perhaps it goes to show that there's something for everyone on the
internet. Perhaps it shows that no matter how physically unattractive
you or I find a person, they are the Route 66 on which someone is gonna
get their kicks. All I know is that it shows more than I ever wanted to
see of some people I didn't want to see much of in the first place. And
as much as I'd like to be happy for them in their finding of sexual
fulfillment, I could live without the visuals.

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4) Funny Classified Ads


Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.

Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.

For sale: antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large
drawers.

Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to
take home, too.

Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.

For Sale -- Eight puppies from a German Shepherd and an Alaskan Hussy.

Great Dames for sale.

Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots
of women wear nothing else.

Stock up and save. Limit: one.

Save regularly in our bank. You'll never regret it.

Man, honest. Will take anything.

Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!

Modular Sofas only $299. For rest or fore play.

Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and
smacks included.

Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.

Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll
never go anywhere else again.

Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient
beating.

Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.

And now, the Superstore -unequaled in size, unmatched in variety,
unrivaled inconvenience.

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5) Genuine Excerpts from Letters Sent to Landlords...


The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it's
cleared.

I want some repairs done to my stove as it has backfired and burnt my
knob off.

This is to let you know that there is a smell coming from the man next
door.

The toilet seat is cracked: where do I stand?

I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is running away from the wall.

I request your permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.

Will you please send someone to mend our cracked sidewalk. Yesterday
my wife tripped on it and is now pregnant.

Our kitchen floor is very damp, we have two children and would like a
third, so will you please send someone to do something about it.

Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny color
and not fit to drink.

Would you please send a man to repair my downspout. I am an old page
pensioner and need it straight away.

Could you please send someone to fix our bath tap. My wife got her
toe stuck in it and it is very uncomfortable for us.

When the workmen were here they put their tools in my wife's new
drawers and made a mess. Please send men with clean tools to finish the
job and keep my wife happy.

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6) For all those born before 1945


WE ARE SURVIVORS!!! Consider the changes we have witnessed:

- We were born before television, before penicillin, before polio shots,
frozen foods, Xerox, plastic, contact lenses, Frisbees and 'The Pill.'

- We were before radar, credit cards, split atoms, laser beams, and
ballpoint pens; before pantyhose, dishwashers, clothes dryers, electric

blankets, air conditioners, drip-dry clothes--
and before man walked on the moon.

- We got married first and then lived together. How quaint can you be?

- In our time, closets were for clothes, not for "coming out of."
Bunnies were small rabbits and were not Volkswagons. Designer Jeans
were
scheming girls named Jean or Jeanne, and having a meaningful
relationship meant getting along well with our cousins.

- We thought fast food was what you ate during Lent, and
Outer Space was the back of the Riviera Theatre.

- We were before house-husbands, gay rights, computer dating, dual
careers and commuter marriages. We were before day-care centers, group
therapy

and nursing homes. We never heard of FM radio, tape decks, electric
typewriters, artificial hearts, word processors, yogurt, and guys
wearing
earrings. For us, time-sharing meant togetherness--not computers or
condominiums; a "chip" meant a piece of wood; hardware meant hardware;
and software wasn't even a word!

- In 1940, "made in Japan" meant JUNK and the term "making
out" referred to how you did on your exam. "MacDonalds"
and instant coffee were unheard of.

- We hit the scene when there were 5 & 10? stores, where
you bought things for five and ten cents. Sanders or
Wilsons sold ice cream cones for a nickel or a dime.
For one nickel you could ride a street car, make a
phone call, buy a Pepsi or enough stamps to mail one
letter AND two postcards. You could buy a new Chevy
Coupe for $600, but who could afford one; a pity, too,
because gas was 11 cents a gallon!

- In our day cigarette smoking was fashionable, GRASS
was mowed, COKE was a cold drink and POT was
something you cooked in. ROCK MUSIC was a Grandma's
lullaby and AIDS were helpers in the Principal's office.

- We were certainly not before the difference between
the sexes was discovered, but we were surely before
the sex change; we made do with what we had. And we
were the last generation that was so dumb as to think
you needed a husband to have a baby!

- No wonder we are so confused and there is such a
generation gap today!

BUT WE SURVIVED!! What better reason to celebrate?

=================================================================

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7) Actual Business Signs


On an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."

Outside a Radiator Repair Shop: "Best place in town to take a leak."

In a Non-smoking area: "If we see you smoking we will assume you are
on fire and take appropriate action."

On Maternity Room door: "Push, Push, Push."

On a Front Door: "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the
dog."

At an Optometrist's Office: "If you don't see what you're looking for,
you've come to the right place."

On a Scientist's door: "Gone Fission"

On a Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."

In a Podiatrist's window: "Time wounds all heels."

On a Butcher's window: "Let me meat your needs."

On another Butcher's window: "Pleased to meat you."

At a Used Car Lot: "Second Hand cars in first crash condition."

On a fence: "Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive."

At a Car Dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet -
miss a car payment."

Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary. We'll hear you
coming."

Outside a Hotel: "Help! We need inn-experienced people."

At an Auto Body Shop: "May we have the next dents?"

In a Dry Cleaner's Emporium: "Drop your pants here."

On a desk in a Reception Room: "We shoot every 3rd salesman,
and the 2nd one just left."

In a Veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

On a Music Teacher's door: "Out Chopin."

At the Electric Company: "We would be delighted if you send in your
bill. However, if you don't, you will be."

In a Beauty Shop: "Dye now!"

On the side of a Garbage Truck: "We've got what it takes to take what
you've got." (Burglars please copy.)

On the door of a Computer Store: "Out for a quick byte."

In a Restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and
get fed up."

Inside a Bowling Alley: "Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop."

In a Cafeteria: "Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can
eat any place they want."

On the door of a Music Library: "Bach in a minuet."

In the front yard of a Funeral Home: "Drive carefully, we'll wait."

In a Counselor's office: "Growing old is mandatory. Growing wise is
optional."
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8) Twas the week after Christmas



Twas the week after Christmas, and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.

The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste
At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).

I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,

The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
And the way I'd never said, "No thank you, please."

As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt---

I said to myself, as I only can
"You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!"

So--away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip

Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
"Till all the additional ounces have vanished.

I won't have a cookie--not even a lick.
I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.

I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.

I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore---
But isn't that what January is for?

Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!

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9) Computer Terms


486 - The average IQ needed to understand a P.C.

State-of-the-art - Any computer you can't afford.

Obsolete - Any computer you own.

Microsecond - The time it takes for your State - of - the - art computer
to become obsolete.

GUI (pronounced "gooey") - What your computer becomes after spilling your
coffee on it.

Keyboard - The standard way to generate computer errors.

Mouse - An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to
generate.

Floppy - The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.

Hard Drive - The sales technique employed by most computer salesmen.

Portable Computer - A device invented to force business men to work at
home, on vacation and on business trips.

Disk Crash - A typical computer response to any critical deadline.

Power User - Anyone who can format a disk from DOS.

System Update - A quick method of trashing ALL of your current software.

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10) Computer Game Playing


Gaming against widely scattered players along the Web is nothing new, of
course. But like everything else online the number of opportunities and
the number of participants continues to grow like wildfire.

We discovered recently that our virtual golf software, Links LS, has a
site where you can join a foursome on a famous course and play computer
golf competitively against other point-and-click shot makers you've never
met. Soon you could be talking virtual handicaps at holiday cocktail
parties.

At Case's Ladder (www. casesladder.com), more than 840,000 members are
signed up to compete againd each other in more than 120-different games
from checkers to Monopoly to Panzer General 2,

Yahool was the gaming home choice of my daughter, who jumped into an
'advanced lounge" of Hearts on Christmas Eve and attempted to stick some
unsuspecing opponent with the Queen of Spades, perhaps to vent an
unspoken holiday frustration.

Not feeling particularly ambitious in the column-writing department due
to the party atmosphere, I quietly jotted this idea down as a suitable
dodge, er topic for some hands-on research and reporting to appease a
demanding editor

If you can connect to the Internet, you can be playing a hand of
sheepshead or mahjongg in a matter of minutes. At Yahoo!, Iíts just a
matter of yielding some of your privacy - e-mail address, occupation,
etc (Disclosing your real name is optional)

Yahool uses self-installing Java applets as the game-playing battlefield
on your browser. To play on other sites, such as Iplay.Net
(lobbysrv.iplay.net) and IGames (www.igames.com), you need to download
special soft-ware.

Hearts can be played offline on almost any computer with a Windows
operating system against artificial opponents, since it is one of the
games that often comes prepackaged with Windows Accessories.

(Aside: My personal weakness among these games is FreeCell, a challenging
and utterly addictive form of solitaire that can be played for escape or,
if you become truly obsessed, to run up the biggest winning percentage
you can.)

Playing Hearts online is more exciting than playing Hearts against the
computer. Real people play idiosyncratically. The game has a different
pace, style and temperament. In addition, on Yahoo! players are free to
comment to the other players in a chat box on screen with the cards.

The table talk is a mixture of polite formality, wisecracks, little digs
and advice. ("Do not play with Flash231. He is a bad loser.)

You don't have to jump into a game immediately. You can watch others play
and wait for an opening. At some tables, robots sit in when there aren't
enough willing players. And a robot jumps in if someone exits a game in
the middle of a hand.

(At one table where I was playing someone deserted the game in a big huff
in the middle of play after getting whacked with the Queen of Spades. And
it wasn't that ill-tempered Flash231, either)

Allowing outsiders to "kibitz" is a choice left up to the player who is
"host." (You become host either by starting a new table or by outlasting
other players at the one you join.) The host can also convert a public
table to a private one.

Players are free to join and leave public games at will, which means you
can inherit a chair abandoned by someone with an undesirable score. If
everyone else around the table agrees, however, you can clear all scores
and start fresh.

This traffic in and out is one of the disadvantages of online games. Itís
hard to sustain your intensity with so many flighty people hopping
around. You seldom get to know the style of those you play against, let
alone find the opportunity to avenge some nasty trick that one may play
on you.

The isolation and anonymity of playing online encourages some-.folks to
indulge in relatively rude behavior. It goes with the territory. Like
freeways.

On the other hand you occasionally lock into a game with convivial
opponents where the level of play and the deal of the cards results In
bracing competition that feels like a real card game.

Yahoo! assigns players ratings that fluctuate with their success at
cards. You can scout the tables looking for a player with a high rating
and go gunning for him, if you like.

Hey Iím beginning to sound rather competitive. Maybe pooh-poohing the
seriousness of game playing around the holidays was a miscalculation.

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11) BUGGED? You donít know the half of it. (The Y2K problem solved)


"My computer thinks itís 1982"

"Doom!", cry the doomsayers. (Thatís why theyíre doomsayers.)
"Disaster ahead!", they shout from every rooftop that will have them.
"Relax!", I replay. "Thereís absolutely nothng to worry about."

Nothing for me to worry about, that is. Let the rest of the
semi-civilized world fret over the arrival of the dreaded Y2K, that
moment when 1999 becomes 2000 and computers everywhere rise up on their
little putty legs and say, "Huh?"

Planes won't fly. Power won't flow. Banks will lose interest. Life will
lose meaning. Those are the predictions, and all because those
high-powered little boxes - twitchy backbones of society, pixelated
networks of now wonít be able to tell the difference between Jan. 1, 2000
and Jan. 1, 1900.

Except, of course, for my computer. My computer thinks itís 1982. This is
how old my computer is: The hip chip right this minute is the Pentium II.
Before the Pentium II there was the Pentium MMX and before that, the
original Pentium.

Before the original Pentium, there was the 486 chip, the 386, and back at
the dawn of time PC-wise, there was the 286. My chip is older than that.
This has its advantages. My computer has been thinking itís 1982 since
sometime in the mid-1990ís -- it just decided one day that the current
decade was too much for it, that it preferred an earlier, simpler time.
It decided, and it reset its internal clock to make it happen.

Truth be told, it had even toyed briefly with 1980 and 1981 but that
didnít last. For my machine, 1982 was the place to be.

Was it looking ahead? Was it buying me time to beat back the millennium
bug? Itís only a laptop but itís always been loyal.

True, this little quirk has its downside. I canít, for instance, ask my
computer to copy all the letters I've written since, say, 1997. It
doesn't realize that November's cheery note isn't ancient, that it was
actually writen a year after 1997. For that matter, it doesnít have a
clue there ever was a l997.

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12) 1999 JIM PETERSON ACHIEVEMENT AWARD NOMINATIONS

(Vote for only ONE from each award category.)


Please note that this is an updated list of nominees. The nomination of
the SW99UG for Community Service was accidentally left out of the
original list. If
you have already cast your vote, based on an earlier nomination list,
feel free to re-cast
your vote.

Re-cast voting will be authorized for each updated JIM PETERSON
ACHIEVEMENT award nomination list. However, to avoid an endless string
of updated
nominee lists, a cut-off date for list changes has been set for midnight,
January 31, 1999.


Award Category Nominee Achievement
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Community Service: Rich Polivka TI Web Page
MICROpendium
TI Magazine
SW99ers
FW98 - Lubbock, Texas

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
TI-99/4A Software: Bruce Harrison Midi for the
Super AMS
John Bull
Contract Bridge

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
TI-99/4A Hardware: System 99 user-group SCSI board
modifications
Michael Becker
High Speed GPL card
Don OíNeil
Ongoing SCSI work

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Myarc, Geneve 9640: Tim Tesch Enhanced
9640 OS
Don Walden
SCSI for the Geneve

==========================================================
Note: Elections will conclude at midnight, April 15, 1999.
Votes received after the deadline will not be counted.

Jim Peterson Achievement Awards will be presented at TIMUGí99 (May 15,
1999)

Submit votes to: Glenn Bernasek
13246 Harper Road
Strongsville, OH 44136
U.S.A.
E-mail: GBBasics@aol.com /
dd314@Cleveland.Freenet.Edu

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