The Milwaukee Area T.I. User Group presents
The World Wide 99ers Newsletter

********* February 2004 **********


Happy Valentines Day
Happy Washington's Birthday
.... Of yes, you too, Abe


MAUG Web page -
Mailing address - 4122 N. Glenway, Wauwatosa, WI 53222-1116
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Two years back issues still available.

weak bladder



(01) Trivia
(02) One Liners
(03) February Puzzlers
(04) TI-99/4A - USB/SM Cards
(05) Drivers Ed
(06) TI 99/4A - Chicago Fair 2004
(07) Loss Of Internet Connection
(08) TI-99/4A - Jim Peterson Achievement Award Nominations
(09) Things I've Learned as I Matured
(10) TI-99/4A - MESS Retro
(11) "Puter" Quickies
(12) TI-99/4A - TI99-PC 2.5.0 Released
(13) A Better Rest Home
(14) TI-99/4A -
(15) Insurance Co. Slogans
(16) Time Waits For No One
(17) Trivia Answers
(18) February Puzzler Answers



(01) Trivia

1. Everyone knows that leprechauns are Irish fairies, but do you know how to track one down?
A. Follow the rainbow
B. Follow the yellow brick road
C. Follow the sound of his shoemaker's hammer
D. Follow the trail of Lucky Charms

2. One zoological group oversees the management of three zoos--the Melbourne Zoological Gardens,
Victoria's Open Range Zoo, and the Sir Colin MacKenzie Zoological Park.
Where is this group located?
A. Great Britain
B. Grand Cayman
C. Australia
D. Indonesia

3. Why did founder John McConnell choose March 21 as Earth Day?
A. March Vernal Equinox
B. His birthday
C. It was the only date free at the party house
D. March needed more holidays

4. Canada has more lakes and inland waters than any other country.
What percentage of the world’s lakes can be found in Canada?
A. Less than 10 percent
B. About 25 percent
C. More than 50 percent
D. About 75 percent

5. How many native peoples originally settled Alaska?
A. Six
B. Four
C. One
D. None

6. In 1975, the first pictures of a planetary surface beyond Earth were sent back to Earth.
What planet was the subject of the pictures?
A. Mercury
B. Uranus
C. Pluto
D. Venus

Trivia answers at the end of the newsletter (Menu Item 17)

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(02) One Liners

Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean they're NOT out to get you.

She was only the whisky maker's daughter, but he loved her still.

Don't marry a beautiful person. They may leave you.
Of course, an ugly person may leave you too. But who cares?

Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could
simply press: 'Ctrl Alt Delete' ...and start all over

Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you
haven't fallen asleep yet.

My wife says I never listen to her.
At least I think that's what she said.

Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school,
but they can in prison?

If raising children were going to be easy,
it never would have started with something called labor!

I've broken so many mirrors in my life,
if I live long enough to have all that bad luck, I'll be lucky...

Whether a man winds up with the nest egg or a goose egg depends a lot
on the kind of chick he marries.

I'm not saying my wife is a bad cook,
but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer

I thought it would be nice to get a job at a duty-free shop because it
doesn't sound like there would be a whole lot to do.

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(03) February Puzzlers

A. 11

What would the next line of numbers be?


B. What is as flat as a leaf, as round as a ring, has two eyes but cannot see?


C. A man is walking down a road with a basket of eggs. As he is walking he meets someone who buys
one-half of his eggs plus one-half of an egg. He walks a little further and meets another
person who buys one-half of his eggs plus one-half of an egg. After proceeding further he
meets another person who buys one-half of his eggs plus one half an egg. At this point he has
sold all of his eggs, and he never broke an egg. How many eggs did the man have to start with?


D. Ann, Barb, Cath and Deb went out to dinner. Cath sat opposite Ann, Deb sat at Ann's right,
opposite Barb. Barb and Deb ordered spaghetti. Cath ordered lasangna.
Ann ordered like this: "Unless the woman at the left of the woman opposite the woman who
ordered lasagna is not having what the woman at the right of the woman at my left is having,
then I'll have what the woman at the right of the woman opposite me ordered. Otherwise, I'll
have pizza. If "right" and "left" are from the perspective of the diner,
what did the waiter bring Ann?


Puzzlers answers at the end of the newsletter (Menu Item 18)

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(04) TI99/4A - USB/SM Cards

--- In, Richard Bell wrote:

Is there a team working on the DSR yet? If there is a team where are they pow-wow-ing?

We decided that the best place for this kind of talk was the SWPB
newsgroup, at There is a poll over
there, which lets you sign up as a member of the developer's team. So
far, there are four of us...

My suggestion is that DSRs should be released as DF80 tagged-object
files (as produced by the TI assembler). This way, the end user can
load only the DSRs he needs, no matter who wrote them. One can always
write a quick SAVE utility for the user to backup his configuration in
the form of "program" files.

I'm almost done writing the special loader that will handle DF80 files
and stuff them into the Flash-EEPROM. Currently debugging...

I also have a set of low-level routines to:
- Call routines in another EEPROM page and return thereof.
- Switch SRAM pages and handle SRAM memory allocation.
- Access Smartmedia cards.
- Access the USB host and device controllers.

All these are still in the debuging stage, I'll make them available
online as soon as I'm reasonnable confident that they work properly.

For more details, have a look at

As for high-level DSRs, I have started to adapt my IDEAL DSRs (which
are currently handling the IDE board) for use with Smartmedia cards.
Not a trivial task, since Smartmedia erase 16 or 32 sectors at a time,
but it should be workable, if not very elegant.

Anybody with some programming skills, or just good ideas, is welcome
to join the forum.

See you there,


Got my card! It is really neat, and they did a very nice job.
Thank you for taking care of this.
For those that would like to take a look at one go here:

Ron Reuter

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(05) Drivers Ed

1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real driver
never uses them.

2. Under no circumstance should you leave any distance between
you and the car in front of you. The space will be filled in by
somebody else, putting you in a dangerous situation.

3. The faster you drive through a red light, the less chance you
have of getting hit.

4. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one
expects it and it will likely result in your being rear-ended.

5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive
bodywork. This is a no-fault insurance state and the other
guy doesn't have anything to lose.

6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure
that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as
the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a
chance to stretch your legs.

7. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a
great way to scare people entering the highway.

8. Speed limits are just arbitrary numbers provided as a
suggestion and are apparently not enforceable during rush hour.

9. Just because you're in the left lane and can't move doesn't
mean that the other driver flashing his high beams behind
you can't go faster in your spot.

10. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or
even someone changing a tire.

11. Learn to swerve abruptly. Thanks to the State Highway Department,
which puts potholes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes
and keep them on their toes.

12. It is traditional to honk your horn at cars that
don't move the instant the light turns green.

13. Remember that the goal of every driver is to get
there first by whatever means necessary.

14. Flipping someone the bird' is considered a polite salute.
This gesture should always be returned.

15. At least four more cars should proceed on a left after the
light turns red. If you fail to do so, you will be rear-ended.

16. The highways can also be used to dispose of any messy garbage
that may be lying around. These items are better off cluttering
the side of the road then cluttering your car's interior where
they may distract you and cause an accident.

17. If someone cuts you off you should return the gesture by
speeding around them on the right, pulling in front of them and
slamming on the brakes. This works even better when your car is
of less value.

18. Never make eye contact with another driver when passing him.

19. Your horn is an all-purpose stress-reliever.


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(06) TI 99/4A - Chicago Fair 2004

The Chicago TI Faire will be held on November 6, 2004.

Hal Shanafield

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(07) Loss Of Internet Connection

Every year we grow more and more dependent on the Internet. But would
you know what to do if your connection suddenly went down?

No one knows when the Internet will fail. It could happen at any time,
leaving you bereft of your e-mail, your sports scores. Therefore, it's
important that you and your family have a contingency plan for just such
an emergency. If your connection to Cyberspace were to ever get severed,
you should at least be prepared. We have included a few key points that
should assist you if that were to happen.

1. Turn On A Television Or Radio
Televisions, strange boxes that sit in your parents' living rooms, were
once used to provide entertainment, long before DVDs and Playstations were
invented. Televisions have the capability of broadcasting streaming
information similar to the content on multimedia websites. With a "remote
control," a wireless device that is like a small one-handed keyboard, you
may be able to surf a limited number of "channels," while you deal with the
loss of your connection. Unfortunately, television is only a one-way media.

In ancient times, radios were also used to entertain. A radio allowed you
to listen to news, sports, and music, much the same way that you listen to
live streaming audio on a Shoutcast server. Like the television, a radio
will only have a limited selection of listening stations, and no video.
Hopefully your separation from the Internet will be brief.

2. Read
People in pre-Internet times used to read "books" and "magazines", written
materials once created in printable format to pass the time. Some e-books
are still available on paper, and may offer a short-term solution until your
power is back and your broadband is restored. If reading is not an option,
as a last resort, you may wish to try doing "chores," or try your hand at
cooking. While these activities cannot replace the Internet, they may be able
to make the down-time a little more tolerable.

3. Go Outside
The idea of leaving your workstation may seem a little extreme, but you can
perform errands that you normally get parents or spouses to do: grocery shopping,
dry-cleaning, etc. Leaving your dorm room, basement, or above-garage apartment
suite, may be risky, but again, the time may afford an effective distraction from
your Internet woes. NOTE: Be careful to avoid the sun, because your pasty white
skin will not be used to the exposure.

4. Use Your Emergency AOL Disk
If you find that your connection to the Internet is going to be longer than you
can possibly stand, as a last resort, pull out an emergency AOL CD, the one with
910 free hours of connection to the AOL service. Take the CD in one hand...and
slash it across your wrist! Suicide will probably be a better alternative than
connecting to that service.

Hopefully some of these Internet alternatives will be able to assist you during
an offline crisis. Emergency radio broadcasts will likely advise you of the state
of the Internet and be able to predict when your bandwidth will be restored, but
remember to have an emergency plan in case your digital detachment is longer than
you expect.

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(08) TI-99/4A - Jim Peterson Achievement Award Nominations (Class of 2004)

This is a call for VOTES for Class of 2004 Jim Peterson Achievement Award.
(Vote for only ONE nominee.)

All votes must be addressed PRIVATELY to Glenn Bernasek.

TI-99/4A Community Service: (Vote for only ONE.)

Richard Bell Valuable repair service for the TI community.
Cory Burr "Win994a" (A TI-99/4A Simulator.)
Berry Harmsen Bringing the latest European software the USA.
Raphael Nabet "M.E.S.S." (TI-99/4A Emulator.)
Don O'Neil Providing site.
Hal Shanafield Organizing and administering many Chicago Faires.
Tom Wills Providing and managing OLUG for the TI community.

Since there is only one candidate nominated in the TI-99/4A Software, TI-99/4A Hardware
and Myarc "Geneve" 9640 categories, there is no call for votes for these categories.
Therefore, by the tacit approval of the TI-99/4A community, the Jim Peterson Achievement
Awards for TI-99/4A Software, TI-99/4A Hardware and Myarc "Geneve" 9640 will be awarded
to the unopposed nominee in each of these award categories.


A. All votes MUST be submitted PRIVATELY to:
Glenn Bernasek
Secretary - TI-Chips
13246 Harper Road
Strongsville, Ohio 44149-3942
- or -
E-mail directly to:

B. Voting will conclude midnight, (USA, Eastern Daylight time) April 30, 2004.

Nominations for the Jim Peterson Achievement Awards are closed. (Except where noted.)
This is a call for EDITING Jim Peterson Achievement Award nominations.

NOTE 1: While anyone may recommend changes to the nominee list, only nominators or
nominees can authorize changes to their respective nomination(s).
All recommendations and/or observations must be addressed PRIVATELY to Glenn Bernasek.
This will NOT be an open forum for the public discussion of the
Jim Peterson Achievement Award nominations.

NOTE 2: Since emulators and simulators are not written to operate in the computer
systems they emulate or simulate, they are classified as "Community Service" achievement
nominations for their respective system emulation/simulation.

TI-99/4A Software:
Wolfgang Bertsch For writing CD-COMMANDER.
(Additional nominations will be accepted.)

TI-99/4A Hardware:
Thierry Nouspikel Designing the USB board for the TI-99/4A
(Additional nominations will be accepted.)

Myarc "Geneve" 9640:
Community Service:
Raphael Nabet "M.E.S.S." (Myarc "Geneve" 9640 Emulator.)
(Additional Nominations will be accepted.)

This is a one month editing period, during December, 2003, in which corrections and/or
deletions to the posted list of nominees may be authorized ONLY by the nominators and/or
nominees in their respective nominations.

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(09) Things I've Learned as I Matured

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others, they are more screwed up than you think.

I've learned that you can keep puking long after you think you're finished.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place.

I've learned that we don't have to ditch bad friends, because their dysfunction makes us feel better about ourselves.

I've learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get arrested and end up in the local paper.

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.

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(10) TI-99/4A - MESS Retro

I am posting the "best" release we have available of MESS for the
TI/Geneve users and calling it "MESS Retro". Do not go to the MESS
website to get assistance. It should come from here. Go to\mess\messretro\ to get the file.

It's a 20+ MB file with TI modules for the TI-99/4A and hard drive
images for the Geneve and with appropriate bios configurations for
the TI and Geneve. Unfortuantely, we do not have the TI-99/8 image
(use the latest version of MESS to get that). The reason is the 99/8
image changes too many files that are presently not able to be
supported with this version.

This release fixes the odd-byte return and allows GenASM to now work
as it was supposed to. I do not know if this particular bug fixes
any other issues.

I've included all the Tools TI'ers need in this one package that
should have most people up and running pretty quickly. There is a
word document included in the file for setting up.

Users should unzip to C:\ and make sure you use the -d option or make
sure your particular "check" boxes creates the full directory path.
If you don't, you will have a LOT of files at your root level.

This release also includes the debug version of "MESS Retro" that
allows you to see what your program is doing from another window.
This is by far the best debugger anyone can use for the TI-99/4A or

I'll be making the source for this release available shortly.

Beery Miller -

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(11) "Puter" Quickies

What is a computer's first sign of old age?
Loss of memory.

What does a baby computer call his father?

What is an astronaut's favorite key on a computer keyboard?
The space bar.

What happened when the computer fell on the floor?
It slipped a disk.

To err is human; but to really screw things up
requires a computer.

Why was there a bug in the computer?
It was looking for a byte to eat.

What is a computer virus?
A terminal illness.

How did the mouse get out of the Russian Cathedral?
He clicked on an icon and opened a window.

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(12) TI-99/4A - TI99-PC 2.5.0 Released.

A new version of TI99-PC, ver. 2.5.0, has been released. This version
superseeds all the previous ones.
The program will show up in a short time in the directory, under the
name It's 850 KB long.

Not a lot has changed in the new version. Please find below what's new.

Paolo Bagnaresi

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(13) A Better Rest Home

With the average cost for a Nursing Home per day reaching $188.00, there is
a Better way when we get old feeble.

I have already checked on reservations at he Holiday Inn for a combined
long term stay discount and senior discount of $49.23 per night.
That leaves $138.77 a day for:

1. Breakfast, lunch and dinner in any restaurant I want, or room service.

2. Laundry, gratuities and special TV movies. Plus, they provide a swimming
pool, workout room, a lounge, washer, dryer, etc.

Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap.
They treat you like a customer, not a patient.

$5 worth of tips a day and they will have the entire staff scrambling to
help you.

There is a city Bus stop out front, and seniors ride free.
The Handicap bus will also pick you up (if you fake a decent limp).

To meet other nice people, call a Church bus on Sundays.

For a change of scenery, take the Airport shuttle Bus and eat at one of the
nice Restaurants there. While you're at the airport, fly somewhere.
Otherwise, the cash keeps building up.

It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn will take your
Reservation today. And you are not stuck in one place forever, you can move
from inn to inn, or even from city to city. Want to see Hawaii?
They have a Holiday Inn there too. TV broken? Light bulbs need changing?
Need a mattress replaced? No problem.

They fix everything, and apologize for the inconvenience. The Inn has a
night security person and daily room service.

The maid checks to see if you are OK. If not, they will call the undertaker
or an ambulance.

If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and Holiday Inn
will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.

And no worries about visits from family. They will always be glad to find
you, and probably check in for a few days mini-vacation. The grandkids
can use the pool. What more can you ask for?

So: When I reach the Golden age I'll face it with a grin.
Just forward all my email to: me@Holiday.Inn

How does this sound?

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(14) TI-99/4A -

I've uploaded a new version of Tidir at (wait for Don
O'Neil to move the file to its proper destination) and my home page

Now you can view TiArtist pictures and gif pictures.
For gif pictures you need an external viewer though!
See the readme.txt file for instructions.

I also want to add the ability to view MyArt pictures.
Does anybody know the format of these?

fredkaal -


A file has been uploaded to the Files area of the tigg_nl group.
File : /
Uploaded by : fredkaal
Description : TiDir version 4.2a - View TI files on a PC

You can access this file at the URL

To learn more about file sharing for your group, please visit

Fred Kaal -

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(15) Insurance Co. Slogans

Four insurance companies are in competition.
One comes up with the slogan,
"Coverage from the cradle to the grave."

The Second one tries to improve on that with,
"Coverage from the womb to the tomb."

Not to be outdone, the third one comes up with,
"From the sperm to the worm."

The fourth insurance company really thought hard and
almost gave up the race, but finally came up with,
"From the erection to the resurrection."

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(16) Time Waits For No One

To realize The value of ten years:
Ask a newly Divorced couple.

To realize The value of four years:
Ask a graduate.

To realize The value of one year:
Ask a student who Has failed a final exam.

To realize The value of nine months:
Ask a mother who gave birth to a still born.

To realize The value of one month:
Ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.

To realize The value of one week:
Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize The value of one hour:
Ask the lovers who are waiting to Meet.

To realize The value of one minute:
Ask a person Who has missed the train, bus or plane.

To realize The value of one-second:
Ask a person Who has survived an accident.

To realize The value of one millisecond:
Ask the person who has won a silver medal in the Olympics.

To realize the value of a friend:
Lose one.

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(17) Trivia Answers

1. Everyone knows that leprechauns are Irish fairies, but do you know how to track one down?
C. Follow the sound of his shoemaker's hammer

2. One zoological group oversees the management of three zoos--the Melbourne Zoological Gardens,
Victoria's Open Range Zoo, and the Sir Colin MacKenzie Zoological Park.
Where is this group located?
C. Australia

3. Why did founder John McConnell choose March 21 as Earth Day?
A. March Vernal Equinox

4. Canada has more lakes and inland waters than any other country.
What percentage of the world’s lakes can be found in Canada?
C. More than 50 percent

5. How many native peoples originally settled Alaska?
A. Six

6. In 1975, the first pictures of a planetary surface beyond Earth were sent back to Earth.
What planet was the subject of the pictures?
D. Venus

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(18) February Puzzler Answers

A. Each line describes the numbers in the preceding line so that means that the next line of
numbers is: 1113213211


B. A coin with a face on one side


C. He had 7 eggs to start with. From Joe, this explanation-
First Man Buys 3 1/2 + 1/2 = 4
Leaves 3 Eggs
Second Man Buys 1 1/2 + 1/2 = 2
Leaves 1 Egg
Last Man Buys 1/2 + 1/2 = 1
Leaves 0 Eggs


D. Unless Barb is not having what Cath is having (lasagna), Ann will have what Deb is having
(spaghetti). Since Barb is not having lasagna, she is having spaghetti, so Ann is having Pizza.

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