The Milwaukee Area T.I. User Group presents
The World Wide 99ers Newsletter

********* January 2004 **********

Happy New Year

... You've broken ALL your New Year's resolutions already???


MAUG Web page -
Mailing address - 4122 N. Glenway, Wauwatosa, WI 53222-1116
E-mail to:

MAUG Meetings - 2nd Wednesday Monthly - 7PM til 10PM
Franklin State Bank, 7000 South 76st Street

Membership dues in MAUG $5.00
E-Mail newsletter subscription available FREE in text or HTML format.
Two years back issues still available.



Look at the world around you, and you'll see God's creativity;
Look at the dinner table, and you'll see God's providence;
Look at the mirror, and you'll see God's sense of humor.




(01) Computer Trivia
(02) One Liners
(03) January Puzzlers
(04) TI-99/4A - MicroPendium Searchable Index
(05) Have Ya Ever Wondered?
(06) TI 99/4A - Chicago Fair CD
(07) Situations Hallmark Doesn't Cover
(08) TI-99/4A - Jim Peterson Achievement Award Nominations
(09) Things to Ponder
(10) TI-99/4A - TI99-PC Upgrade
(11) Political Science
(12) TI-99/4A - DSK2Arc Program
(13) Sex Facts
(14) TI-99/4A - New version of TiDir 4.1d
(15) Humor??
(16) TI-99/4A - on CD/DVD
(17) Computer Trivia Answers
(18) January Puzzler Answers

new years


(01) Computer Trivia

In 1989, the latest transportable PC's featured color 'gas plama screens'. The problem was:
a) They became highly flammable if they got too hot.
b) They could be viewed only in a dark room.
c) Gas was expensive in 1989 because of a gas shortage.
d) The gases used would eventually lose their charge, degrading the image.

In 1994, Intel shipped some 2 million Pentium chips containing a bug (discovered later) that could:
a) Prevent you from using non-Microsoft software.
b) Stop games from playing.
c) Cause rounding errors in some applications that perform calculations.
d) Cause a CD-ROM to spin out of control.

In 1996, Microsoft spearheaded an initiative to simplify PC hardware. This included a plan to develop PC's that turn on instantly the way TV's do.
a) True
b) False

The first two-button mouse for PC's was released in 1983 and cost a whopping $195 (today you can buy an optical mouse for $10). This mouse was made by:
a) Logitech
b) Apple
c) Microsoft
d) Kensington

The IBM PC and compatibles used DOS as their basic operating system, remnants of which persist in Windows XP systems today. What does DOS stand for?
a) Doctor's Orders System
b) Disk Operating System
c) Dynamic Operating system
d) Dallas Operating System

The Y2K problem arose because:
a) Computers couldn't handle dates that began with '19'
b) Chips inbedded in all computerized hardware , from PC's to elevators, were programmed to make the products obsolete after December 31, 1999
c) PC BIOS's didn't provide for the extra leap year day in 2000 and the resulting asyncronicity would have caused computers to freeze and maybe stop working altogether.
d) To save memory and storage space, early PC's were designed to track only the last two digits of the year, making it impossible for them to properly recognize the change in the century.

Windows 3.1 sold more than a million copies within two months of its release in 1992. In contrast, Microsoft Bob, a 1995 graphical user interface aimed at home users, managed sales in its first six months os:
a) 2 million
b) 500,000
c) 100,000
d) 30,000

QuantumLink was the full proper nameof:
a) Microsoft's first e-mail program, which famously flopped at its introduction in 1983.
b) The first 2400-bps modem, which sold for $1299 in 1984.
c) A CompuServe-enabled cellphone released in 1986, which weighed almost 7 pounds.
d) AOL's first service, which debuted in 1985 and ran only on Commodore 64 computers.

The word cyberspace was coined by:
a) Madonna in the 1987 movie 'Who's That Girl?'
b) Vice presidential candidate Al Gore in a 1992 stump speech.
c) Author William Gibson in his 1984 novel, 'Neuromancer'.
d) Ron Popell in a 1983 ad for the 'Digital Fisherman'.

All the following are actual Web browsers except:
a) Surfin' Annette
b) HexaBit Junior
c) Web-O-Matic
d) NetSlacker

The first person to speak of 'surfing' the Internet was:
a) Andy Rooney, the lovable TV curmudgeon.
b) Duke Kahanamoku, a legendary Hawaiian surfer.
c) Jean Armour Polly, a self-styled 'Net Mom'.
d) David Filo, the inventive co-founder of Yahoo.

Trivia answers at the end of the newsletter (Menu Item 17)

Return to Index


(02) One Liners

You know you're old if you can remember when bacon, eggs and sunshine were good for you.

The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.

The person who pays for the pizza gets the toppings that fall off in the box.

Never leave your wife's anniversary present in a Wal-Mart bag.

Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

Where there's a will ... I want to be on it.

It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

Don't drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill your drink.

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

I'm an organ donor, I once gave an old piano to the Salvation Army.

If you leave sour cream out too long, does it turn fresh?

Return to Index


(3) January Puzzlers

A. A guy has to a cross a river filled with man eating animals, by climbing a bridge to get to a princess with whom he wants to stay for the rest of his life. but on the bridge is a guard who will chase him back as soon as he is spotted. the guard sleeps for 5mins and watches for 10mins and the guy can cross the bridge in 7 mins. How can he ever get to the princess at the top of the bridge without being spotted.


B. Said the young girl, "My name is Isabella, and my Grandmother has the same name.
I am named after her, but I know it to be true that she was just named after me."
The girl is telling the truth. How is this possible?


C. Lou Lion, Ted Tiger, Eli Elephant, Gary Gazelle, Peter Panther, and Leopold Leopard all recently returned from a photographic safari in Africa.
Each "hunter" was able to photograph only two animals, each of which happened to be the namesake of one of the hunter colleagues.

Each animal was photographed by exactly two of the men.
Each hunter photographed at least one member of the cat family; and Eli and Gary accounted for all four cats between them.
Gary and Peter both filmed a leopard.
The namesakes of the animals that Eli captured on film both photographed a gazelle.
Ted did not photograpgh any of the animals that Peter did.
Gary and Ted had photographs of the same animal.

Who caught the lion on film?

Puzzlers answers at the end of the newsletter (Menu Item 18)

Return to Index


(04) TI99/4A - MicroPendium Searchable Index

I have created a web page which allows you to search through the Micropendium index.
With the page you can search for A/L and it will list all indexes that contains assembly language programs.

Ron Reuter -

Return to Index


(05) Have Ya Ever Wondered?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?"

Who was the first person to see an egg come from a chicken's butt and think, "I'll bet that would be good to eat?

Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?

If love is blind, how can we believe in love at first sight?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!

Why do they call it 'getting your dog fixed' if afterwards it doesn't work anymore?

If Wile Coyote had enough money for all the Acme products, why didn't he just buy dinner?

Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty is an egg?

Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the shower, when he doesn't usually wear any pants?

Did Adam and Eve have navels?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have a 's' in it?

Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

And who opened that first 'oyster' and said "My, my, my. Now doesn't 'this' look yummy!"

Return to Index


(06) TI 99/4A - Chicago Fair CD
By Ted Zychowicz

On November 8, 2003 at the Chicago fair, Berry Harmsen gave out a CD, to those present at
the fair. Most of the material on this CD can be found on the WHT FTP site. But for those of us
who only have 56K dial up connection, this CD brings these files to us. At the present time this
CD is not available to anyone who did not get it at the fair. This CD holds more than 8,000 TI
disks. These disks are meant to be run either on TI emulators or on the TI99-4A or the Geneve.
The cd also contains up to seven emulators plus PC99 utility programs, many archived disks and
other utility programs. When checking out the CD, there are very few text files to help you install
or use the programs. Other than that This CD helps all of us in using our emulators. I will now
describe the files on this CD. I did try some of these programs, and found them to be interesting.
The emulators run, but they do not run all the cartridges or all the programs that have been
written for the TI.

When opening up the CD there displays, the root directory, that has two files, these are the
addatex program and a DOAD disk for the V9T9 emulator. This directory then displays 11
subdirectories. I am not certain what addatex does nor do I know what is on the doad.ark file.

The first subdirectory is named archiv. This directory contains 53 subdirectories of more than
3,900 archived disks. These disks contain Funnelweb, Myword, MDOS, Pascal, Tigercub disks
and much much more. The next subdirectory is named Burrsoft, it holds the WIN994A emulator
that was written by Cory Burr. I have tried this emulator. It has a library of cartridges, you can
also create more cartridges using the cartridge creator, but be aware that not all cartridges run
correctly. This emulator also has a disk subdirectory that holds the simulated disks, these disks are
90K disks, pc99 disks are 255K, so be aware not all disks will run. This being said this emulator
runs all of the cartridges that come with it, although not correctly.

The next subdirectory is named compuserve, it holds three subdirectories named archives,
basic, & pcode. The archive subdirectory holds one zip file that holds all the disks and zip files in
the other two subdirectories. This could be a backup of the files that were on compuserve, but my
never having been on compuserve, I would not know this for sure.

The next subdirectory is named Exe-files. That holds the following EXE files, 99ER.EXE,
99er &, HCJ magazine disks, IUG disks, peterson software disks, Boston computer group disk
library disks, peterson nuts & bolts disks, Rich RXB V2000 extended basic program, game &
cartridge software, PC99 utilities & funnelweb software disks, Moonbeam software, and Bruce
Harrisons software. plus seven exe files of mpxxxxxxxx.exe, these may be self-extracting archive
of copies of micropendium magazines.

The next subdirectory is MODULES, this subdirectory holds 234 zip files, that need to be
unzipped with winzip. They are TI cartridges ready for use with PC99, V9t9 and other emulators.
They may even be useable on the Geneve.

The next subdirectory is Pc99-files. This subdirectory holds 14 subdirectories, which hold
pc99 format disk files and winzip files of the 99er & HCJ magazine disks, Dallas TI user group
disks, Part of the Club ERRORFREE disk library, Harrison software disks, Micropendium
magazine disks, Peterson Nuts & bolts disks, The RAG assembler, SAMS disks, Charles Good's
Sherlock Holmes stores, Spiele Atari software for the TI, TI User group of U. K. disk library, TI
Artist disks, Tigercub disks, and utility software disks.

The next subdirectory is pc99utlities. This subdirectory holds 4 programs, they are, disk2ti
This PC dos program written by David L. Ormand converts pc99 .dsk disk to a tifiles format that
can be transferred to a TI, a doc file is included to help in its use. The 2nd program is dskdata
written by Mike Wright of CADD Electronics. It will display raw data from a pc99 .dsk format
disk a txt file will help in its use. The third program is dv80cvt, this self extracting program for the
PC needs the DSK2TIFL program (not on this CD) to find dv80 files on a pc99 .dsk format dsk
and read it on a PC. The 4th program is menuinst, this self-extracting program creates pc99menu,
that sets up pc99's module #1 and disk #1. This program has a txt file to help install it.

The next subdirectory is Rich Extended basic (RXB), this is Rich's Extended Basic version
unknown for PC99.

The next subdirectory is SNUG, it holds multi disk commander in arc format (note this is not
winzip format) which should be unarc'd in PC99. There are seven more programs that appear to
be grom or gram files, plus there is a snug faq in text format.

The next two subdirectories are TI994W and V9T9, they are emulators that you can run in dos
mode on the PC. TI994W has txt, help and ini files to help in running this emulator. In the
V9T9\ERRORFREE subdirectory you will find V9T9 version 6, this subdirectory contains a
DOCS subdirectory to help you run V9T9.

The last subdirectory is called ZIP, this subdirectory holds 15 zip, 1 arc, and 1 exe file. the
first zip file is 99menu12, it holds the self-extracting file 99menu, this is the same program that is
in the pc99utities subdirectory, the 2nd zip file is classic99, this is what started out as ami99 it is
now the Classic 99 emulator, it runs well, I have not gone through it extensively, but according to
the txt file in the zip file this is the version as of November 2002. The 3rd zip file is CS1er-04, this
program will take a cassette input of a TI CS1 tape and put it in a FIAD format dsk for use on
V9T9, there is a text file in the zip which will help in using this program. The 4th zip file is
dtihcg1-pc99, this zip file holds nearly 50 Disks of the Month as issued by the Dallas TI Home
Computer User Group they are in PC99 format. The 5th zip file is mess, this is the MESS
emulator, there are several txt and readme files in the zip file to help in running this emulator.
There are newer versions available on the Internet at the mess home page at
The next zip file is pc992v9 it contains two files and a readme file. The two files are PC992V9
v1.00 and DOD2FID v1.00 they were written by Dennis D Hatton Sr. The next file is
pc99dsku.exe. I cannot get this program to run so I do not know what it does. The next file is
sim99.arc I believe this is a pc99 program in arc format. The next zip file is solar there is no
readme file although I think the files in this zip were written by J. PETER HODDIE. The next zip
is TI994w an emulator written By Frederik G. Kaal. The next four zip files are TI99-pc as written
by Paolo Bagnaresi. TI99_PC v. 2 will read, write, format, catalog, copy and convert TI-
99/4A floppy disks on a PC .
The next zip file is TiDir as written by Fred G. Kaal. TiDir is a Windows program to browse
through TI-99/4A files (v9t9 format), Archive files (v9t9 format and created with Barry Boones
archiver) and .DSK files (v9t9 and PC99*) on a PC. The next zip file is V9T9run3. This is the
V9T9 emulator. The last zip file is Win994a. This is another emulator that runs in Windows on
the PC.

Return to Index


(7) Situations Hallmark Doesn't Cover

1. I always wanted To have someone to hold, someone to love. After meeting you ...
(inside card) I changed my mind.

2. I must admit, You brought religion into my life ....
(Inside card) I never believed in Hell Until I met you.

3. As the days go by, I think how lucky I am ....
(inside card) That you're not here To ruin it for me.

4. Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go ....
(inside card) Will you take the knife from my back? You'll probably need it again.

5. Someday I hope to marry ....
(inside card) Someone other than you.

6. Happy birthday! You look great for your age ....
(inside card) Almost lifelike!

7. When we were together, You said you'd die for me....
(Inside card) Now we've broken up, I think it's time To keep your promise.

8. We've been friends for a very long time ....
(inside card) What do you say we stop?

9. I'm so miserable without you ....
(Inside card) It's almost like you're still here.

10. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy ....
(Inside card) Did you ever find out who the father was?

11. You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship And there was only one life jacket ....
(inside card) I'd miss you terribly and think of you often.

12. Your friends and I wanted to do something really special for your birthday ....
(Inside card) So we're going out for a drink after work.

13. Looking back o'er the years we've been together, I can't help but wonder ....
(inside card) What was I thinking?

14. Congratulations on your wedding day!....
(Inside card) Too bad no one likes your husband.

15. How could two people as beautiful as you ....
(inside card) Have such an ugly baby?

Return to Index


(08) TI-99/4A - Jim Peterson Achievement Award Nominations (Class of 2004)

This is a call for VOTES for Class of 2004 Jim Peterson Achievement Award.
(Vote for only ONE nominee.)

All votes must be addressed PRIVATELY to Glenn Bernasek.

TI-99/4A Community Service: (Vote for only ONE.)

Richard Bell Valuable repair service for the TI community.
Cory Burr "Win994a" (A TI-99/4A Simulator.)
Berry Harmsen Bringing the latest European software the USA.
Raphael Nabet "M.E.S.S." (TI-99/4A Emulator.)
Don O'Neil Providing site.
Hal Shanafield Organizing and administering many Chicago Faires.
Tom Wills Providing and managing OLUG for the TI community.

Since there is only one candidate nominated in the TI-99/4A Software, TI-99/4A Hardware and Myarc "Geneve" 9640 categories, there is no call for votes for these categories.
Therefore, by the tacit approval of the TI-99/4A community, the Jim Peterson Achievement Awards for TI-99/4A Software, TI-99/4A Hardware and Myarc "Geneve" 9640 will be awarded to the un-apposed nominee in each of these award categories.


A. All votes MUST be submitted PRIVATELY to:
Glenn Bernasek
Secretary - TI-Chips
13246 Harper Road
Strongsville, Ohio 44149-3942
- or -
E-mail directly to:

B. Voting will conclude midnight, (USA, Eastern Daylight time) April 30, 2004.

Nominations for the Jim Peterson Achievement Awards are closed. (Except where noted.)
This is a call for EDITING Jim Peterson Achievement Award nominations.

NOTE 1: While anyone may recommend changes to the nominee list, only nominators or nominees can authorize changes to their respective nomination(s).
All recommendations and/or observations must be addressed PRIVATELY to Glenn Bernasek.
This will NOT be an open forum for the public discussion of the Jim Peterson Achievement Award nominations.

NOTE 2: Since emulators and simulators are not written to operate in the computer systems they emulate or simulate, they are classified as "Community Service" achievement nominations for their respective system emulation/simulation.

TI-99/4A Software:
Wolfgang Bertsch For writing CD-COMMANDER.
(Additional nominations will be accepted.)

TI-99/4A Hardware:
Thierry Nouspikel Designing the USB board for the TI-99/4A
(Additional nominations will be accepted.)

Myarc "Geneve" 9640:
Community Service:
Raphael Nabet "M.E.S.S." (Myarc "Geneve" 9640 Emulator.)
(Additional Nominations will be accepted.)

This is a one month editing period, during December, 2003, in which corrections and/or deletions to the posted list of nominees may be authorized ONLY by the nominators and/or nominees in their respective nominations.

Return to Index


(09) Things to Ponder

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny for your thoughts?" Where's that extra penny going?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours and cry?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Return to Index


(10) TI-99/4A - TI99-PC Upgrade
Version 2.2.2- DS-SD 80 Track Formatter

An upgrade to TI99-PC has been released, "TI99-PC_ 2.2.2- DS-SD 80 Track Formatter", soon to appear on Utilities/.

The fix corrects a bug on the current TI99_PC.COM, the ASM program that actually take care of formatting/copying/reading/writing/cataloging a TI disk on a PC.
When formatting an 80 Track DS/SD disk, as you would for the TI FDC equipped with the new 80 Track Eprom by Tony Knerr, the disk gets formatted as requested, but the the code fails to properly write the used/free sectors in sector zero, thus making the disk unusable.

The new TI99_PC.COM contained in "TI99-PC_ 2.2.2- DS-SD 80 Track Formatter", 48,713 byte long, will take care of the problem.
The new version (ver. 2.2.2) has been already sent to the incoming directory of Whtech.
A notice has also been sent to our great Librarian, Charles Good, kindly asking him to move the file to the final directory, that should be, as usual, Utilities/.
Once downloaded the file, you just have to unpack the zip file and copy the TI99_PC.COM file to your TI99-PC directory, thus overwriting the old TI99_PC.COM.
Kudos to Robert Boyd on, for reporting the error.

I apologize for any inconvenience I may have inwillingly caused to you.


Return to Index


(11) Political Science

The only thing that saves us from bureaucracy is inefficiency.
An efficient bureaucracy is the greatest threat to liberty.
- Eugene McCarthy

Democracy must be something more that two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner.
James Bovard

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.
- Aesop

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
- George Bernard Shaw

Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer from the poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.
- Douglass Casey

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
- P.J. O'Rourke

The only difference between a taxman and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
- Mark Twain

A nation trying to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.
- Winston Churchill

What this country needs is more unemployed politicians
- Edward Langley

I believe there's something out there watching over us. Unfortunately it's the government.
- Woody Allen

Politics is show business for ugly people.
- Paul Begala

An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought.
- Simon Cameron

Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.
- John Galbraith

Return to Index


(12) TI-99/4A - DSK2Arc Program

I have programmed a Visual Basic application that works great with the DSK2ARC program to dump .dsk files to arc303g format.

What it does is it will scan a source directory of your .dsk files and creates a batch file for all .dsk files to run with the DSK2Arc program and outputs each file to a arc303g formatted file for easy transfers between the PC and TI.
This is great if you have mutltiple files you want to take out of .dsk format and do not want to do all the typing.

Reason I came up with this solutions is because the program to copy TI program images to TI formatted disk on my PC does not work real well for me.
I will be posting the file up on soon with documentation if anyone would want to download it.

clssr1 -

Return to Index


(13) Sex Facts

If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose.

If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.


When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50.
None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.


A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.


A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


Women love cats.

Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.


A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.


A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.


A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.


Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.


A woman knows all about her children.
She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.


Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

Return to Index


(14) TI-99/4A - New version of TiDir 4.1d

I've uploaded a new version of my Tidir program at

Version 4.1d:
Now you can sort files by attr, type, size, TI-name or PC-name (in this order).
Files on DSK or in archives will be first saved in a temporary directory in V9t9 format before loaded into the viewer.

This simplified the operation of Tidir a lot, so now you can also view archives on DSK's (V9T9 format or PC99 format).
Basic PROGRAMs, INT/VAR254 or DIS/VAR163 (extended basic merge files) are now recognized and shown as a basic program listing in the viewer.

A temporary directory is found automatic (I hope).
First the environment variable TMP or TEMP is tried, next the existance of a directory C:\TMP or C:\TEMP is tried.
If all this fails the temporary files wil be written in the root of C:, ti-file for a file and ti-arc for an archive.

Fred Kaal -

Return to Index


(15) Humor??

"He's great on the court," a sportswriter said of a college basketball player in a interview with his coach, "But how's his scholastic work?"
"Why, he makes straight A's," replied the coach.
"Wonderful!" said the sportswriter.
"Yes," agreed the coach, "but his B's are a little crooked."

Mary (A blonde) called in a repairman to fix her electric clock.
He examined it and told her, "There's nothing wrong with the clock. You just didn't have it plugged in."
Nina replied, "I didn't want to waste electricity, so I only plug it in when I want to know what time it is."

The helicopter I was in lost power and went down.
Fortunately, it landed safely in the lake.
Struggling to get out, one man tore off his seat belt, inflated his life vest, and jerked open the exit door.
"Don't jump!" the pilot yelled. "This thing is supposed to float!"
As the man leapt from the helicopter into the lake, he yelled back, "Yeah sure, and but it's supposed to FLY too!"

Q: How many women with MENOPAUSE does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One! ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb!
They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out.
And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past 17 YEARS!
But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find them 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!!
I'm sorry.... What was that question again?

Return to Index


(16) TI-99/4A - on CD/DVD

Western Horizon Technologies TI 99/4a and Geneve Archive 12,869 files using 6,039,623,680 bytes as of 6-13-2003 and still growing!!


This entire site is now available on a 7 CD set or on a single DVD-R & 1 CD for only $20.00 + S&H ($4.00 US).

If you would like to order a CD Set or DVD, please call our main number at 800-767-5665 or 408-391-2535 or email
We accept Visa, MasterCard, American Express and Discover. Shipping available world wide (at additional cost).

CD Contents:

Disk 1: Main site archives & some PC99 disks
Disk 2: User Group Newsletters
Disk 3: Magazines & User Group Newsletters
Disk 4: Magazines
Disk 5: Micropendium
Disk 6: PC99 & TI Music archives
Disk 7: Music, videos and misc.


Return to Index


(17) Computer Trivia Answers

(1) d
(2) c
(3) a
(4) b
(5) b
(6) a,c&d
(7) d
(8) d
(9) c
(10) d
(11) c

Return to Index


(18) January Puzzler Answers

A. The most intuitive answers:

1. The man has nothing to fear - all he has to do is push the guard into the river - as the animals are "man eating" - the animals will eat the guard and the man can do what he wants.

2. The princess would be completely safe in the river since she is not a man and the princess could swim over to the man and then the man would not have to even bother with the bridge.

More traditional answers:

3. A bridge is half a circle, so for 5 minutes (or less depending on the height of the hero) he's outa sight.
He works out when the guard is gonna sleep, takes 2.3 minutes off that, and sets off.
By the time the hero reaches tha apex the guard is asleep for 5 minutes, so the hero has 2.3 + 5 minutess = 7.3 minutess before the guard wakes up.
Well within the 7 minute time

4. As soon as the guard goes to sleep the guy starts to walk across the bridge.
As soon (or just before) the guard wakes up, the guy starts walking the OPPOSITE way.
The guard, seeing the man walking back where he came from but not knowing this, immediately chases him and chases the man to his destination.
It helps that the guy will have covered over half the distance before the guard wakes up.


B. The young girl has the same name as her grandmother but their middle name is different
ie. Isabella Dawn ........young girl
Isabella Elizabeth........grandmother
The grandmother would be named after the young girl when there was a listing in alphabetical order.


C. Simply create a grid and plug in the facts.
You will then be able to deduce that Eli & Leopold got the lion.

Return to Index